Is email important to a marriage? Do you and your husband email each other regularly, or only when it’s absolutely impossible to talk in person? Or, perhaps, has texting taken over communications?
Just a few years ago, five to be exact, I met a man online. No big deal, right? Online dating is common, nowadays. But, as it turned out we developed a close and intimate online relationship. Email became our stage, dining table, entertainment, and sexual escapades.
Because, 1,200 miles separated us, we never met for coffee, dinner, drinks, or went dancing. Never went to a movie, theater, on shopping trips, afternoon strolls, or weekend rendezvous. How boring, you might be thinking. Not at all, it was a word-filled wonderland in cyberspace.
Impossible as it might seem, our relationship thrived, and grew strong. Oh, not that it was all hearts and roses – far from anything like that. We disagreed, argued, made up, and romanced each other. And, in between emails, we sported rosey pink ears from long phone conversations. But, email each other, we did! We have hundreds of emails stored away on our hard drives; many days, we exchanges, as many as, ten emails!
What in the world could we have possibly been writing about? How many things can two people talk about? Was our life the keyboard? Didn’t we want to actually get together?
We wrote about the day’s events, career challenges and successes, dreams, goals, morals, religion, kids, family, past and present lifes, adventures, vacations, skills, where we grew up, feelings, and sex. We expressed our sorrows, needs, beliefs, and sexual preferences. Oh, how we wrote about sexuality and intimacies! Or, more to the point, we exposed and shared all our private and protected sexual desires, fantasies, needs and urges. And, we emailed more than just words; get sex pictures, ooooh, those pictures!
We sent emails filled with hot, steamy sex; it’s amazing the keyboard didn’t suffer a meltdown. Many emails could be classified as pornographic material; titillating, and explicit! But, respect and tenderness were always obvious. Oh, yes, our emails, unequivocally, rivaled, any of the best sex-filled books on the market. I think, this was because we wrote from our hearts, and not because we felt a need to impress or shock the other.
The keyboard was not our lives, far from it, but it definitely played THE major role in our communications. We wanted to get together, but the miles between us, and demanding careers with unusual schedules, posed problems. And, both had pets, and neither was independently wealthy, so planning was required. Definitely, this was not a Cinderella and magical pumpkin kind of scenario.
But, through these hundreds (literally) of emails, a trust was built and realized. Luckily, we both were honest, and never lied throughout all of our communications. We both, accepted the others opinions, and encouraged open communication, without barriers. A sort of camaraderie developed; a true friendship.
Eventually we did meet, found we had differences and likes, but our affair elevated to yet another level. Within a five month span of this cyberspace relationship, we broke up, made up, and fell in love.
Then, he took a big chance and pulled up stakes to move 1,200 miles from his element. He was from the north, and I lived in the south. At first, he felt like a fish out of water, suffered culture shock, and missed his friends and things he was accustomed to. But, our relationship remained strong, and never wavered. It may have jiggled a bit, but never crumbled and fell.
Even after we were living under the same roof, we continued to email each other. Our computers were located in adjacent rooms, and still we emailed. Oftentimes, our schedules were not in sync, so emailing was a good way to discuss or say things we might have forgotten, or just because we wanted or needed to talk. Oh, boy, and talk we did! relationships
We’ve had many challenges, experienced life changes and difficulties, and still prefer each others company to anyone else. Do we view the world through rose colored glasses, or have our heads buried in the sand? To that, the answer is an emphatic NO! We’ve had our share of arguments, and saw each others personalities (best and worst). We’ve made several unfortunate choices (that’s putting it nicely), financial, and just plain stupid mistakes. And, along with these came depression, anger, blame, and personal trials.
Time marches on, and we still send each other emails, even racey emails! No, we don’t send hundreds of emails anymore, and, no, they are not, usually, filled with hot, steamy desires. But the respect and love between us, burns brightly. It’s still a thrill to find an email waiting for me, even if it’s only about hum-drum daily life events.
We have open communication, and nothing is secret or taboo. Emailing each because we want to, and just because, remains a special bond within our relationship and marriage. Besides being best friends, we are also husband and wife. And, a relationship without email would seem abnormal and boring.
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